What would you say to a mum who feels she's lost herself?
Every letter here answers that one question. Passed between mums like quiet notes, word for word.
Dear mum,
In those early years, most of us are quietly trying to find ourselves again.
At the same time, we want to be fully present - to soak in every moment with our child.
But just as things begin to feel settled, aligned... you realise your baby isn't a baby anymore.
And there's this lingering thought - did I truly enjoy it the way I was meant to?
Alongside it comes the confusion, the guilt, the nagging feeling of not having been enough.
That weight is real.
What makes the difference is support - the kind that's steady, understanding, and present.
A healthy environment. And a partner who genuinely stands beside you.
Without that, it's not just difficult - it's quietly overwhelming.
A mum, via Instagram
Dear mum,
I always bring in biology. I know it's silly but mom flamingos lose their pink when they are in the trenches of raising their young, and then slowly but surely they gain their pink back! You'll get your pink back!!!
A mum, via Instagram
Dear mum,
My mom once told me as you age, you're always the you along the journey. When you're 20, you're still 5, 10, 13, etc. That's why so many different things in life spark different emotions. That's 5 yr old you remembering the joy of a hug. 13 yr old you remembering finding some independence. 20 yr old you remembering venturing out on your own. When you're 50, you're also still 5, you just have more layers. So, you've never lost yourself, you've just added new layers to what makes you, you.
A mum, via Instagram
Dear mum,
You loose yourself when you have children and the longer you try to hold onto those broken pieces the longer it will take to build the new you back up. You will never be pre-child you again, you are a new person who needs to get to know yourself for the first time. Just like puberty but this time as a grown woman.
